A Guide to Befriending the Neighborhood Children

Because, let's be honest--you're more likely to play in the dirt with kids than do whatever it is the grown-ups do.

1. Accept and embrace the way they look. No, I'm not talking about the color of their skin--I mean the fact that in this heat one little boy wears a sweater. And nothing BUT a sweater.

2. Do things like pilates that they don't understand so they think you are crazy (read: interesting). It will make you a magnet.

3. Learn their names. Of COURSE the little boy in the sweater is named Papita.

4. Teach them that your name is not in fact vazaha.

5. Let them watch you do things like washing your dishes.

I don't get it either.

6. Let them eat some of your peanut butter.

7. Convince them it is cool to dance to Snow Patrol. Note: You know you've convinced them when they join you.

Result: It will be the new cool thing to go to the vazaha's house to listen to music while coloring.